Woo, Buddy! What a hell of a week seven in the SEC. It’s Monday, that means power rankings are coming in hot. You know I power rank each conference each week, so obviously we start with the Kings first. You know what also happens on Mondays? I get to brag about how good I did with my gambling picks from Units Only Go Up the week before. If you’re not following me, SpikedJohnnyB, you’re just losing yourself money (This week I’m 10-2).
Listen if you team isn’t where you think they should be on the power rankings, remember you’re wrong. I am right, almost 70% on my picks this year I am right. I am not only ranking what the teams have done but what they will do. So calm down Karen, they can still move up the list.
#1 Tennessee
I know I’m gonna get a lot of shit for this one, but when you go into Death Valley and embarrass The Tigers, you deserve to be number 1. Hendon Hooker might be the front runner for the Heisman right now. He is the model of consistency, throwing for two touchdowns in each game and no interceptions. He just leads his team and gives everyone even the defense the confidence to know they are winning. Tennessee’s defense also stepping up their game, coming up big in timely matters. It sure feels like 98′.
#2 Alabama
This one might seem like a little bit of a surprise as well. They barely beat Texas A & M and Haines King at home this week, going all the way down to the last play Jimbo almost pulled the upset again, but let’s be honest, the Heisman Trophy winner didn’t play. And when Bryce Young comes back, this team is 14 points better than most teams in this conference. I know I have Tennessee ranked above them right here, but I think Bama kills them next week in Rocky Top. Roll Tide!
#3 Georgia
This team continues to just play with their food. We know Kirby Smart’s boys are good, but when are they gonna show it. It was 14-0 at half versus Auburn, and we all know how bad Auburn is. They barely beat Kent State. They just continue to play like an average team when they have the talent to be the best. They have two more cupcakes in Vandy and Florida coming up, then they finally play a decent team in Tennessee. Maybe they’ll show up for that game. But they’re still the champs and they deserve to be in the top three.
#4 Mississippi State
Ro-Ro-Roger that! Roger that! Will Rogers has become the all time SEC leader in completions in a 40-17 ass whooping of Arkansas; also throwing for just under 400 yards and 3 touchdowns. Not only do they have the quarterback, they are running the ball with consistency and their defense has a bunch of dogs on it. No one wants to play Mississippi State right now. Mark Leach has Stark Vegas buzzin’.
#5 Ole Miss
I can’t quite put my finger on this team. I love Lane Kiffin, I even like Jaxon Dart. But they look like shit against Vandy in the first half and then in the second half look like world beaters. They have one decent win against Kentucky, but they suck, too. We will see if they are any good versus LSU on the 22nd of October. I don’t think they’re as good as people think they are.
#6 Texas A & M
Remember the Wizard of Oz, with the scarecrow who wished he only had a brain? A & M wishes they only had a quarterback. They have great defense, great playmakers, just nobody to throw them the damn ball. They could be first on this list if they had a quarterback. Instead, they’ll be 8-4 and go to the Alamo Bowl.
#7 LSU
This team is the definition of a rollercoaster. They beat Mississippi State handily at home, then get their doors blown off to Tennessee. Their defense can look amazing, and then they can give up a touchdown in less than a second. I still don’t know if I’m sold at Daniels at quarterback either, or if Brian Kelly is the right fit for head coach; but they could win five out of their last six and shut me up and I wouldn’t be surprised.
#8 Arkansas
I told you in the beginning of the year on the Spiked College Football Show, this team is a fraud. They started out 3-0 versus nobodies, and then lost three straight, forth coming this week to BYU. And they’re gonna finish the season 6-6. They can’t play defense to save their life, and KJ being hurt doesn’t help, even though he’s not great. This team was all hype, no substance.
#9 Kentucky
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Kentucky is the biggest fraud in the SEC. Will Levis is trash, even though he didn’t play against South Carolina. If Kentucky is as good as their fans say they are, that still wouldn’t have mattered, They’re just not good. You’re gonna lose four out of your last six games, Kentucky fans. You’re gonna be 6-6 and make the Cure Bowl. That’s who you are, you’re Kentucky, you’re a basketball school.
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#10 Florida
See me next year. You might be higher up in the power rankings next year.
#11 South Carolina
Welcome to the power rankings, gamecocks. Congrats on a win versus a bad Kentucky team. But as much as I think Will Levis is not a good quarterback, Spencer Rattler is worse. You’re not a good team right now. Give it a few years Shane Beamer will have you higher up in the rankings.
#12 Mizzou
You make losing games look good. Every week it’s something new with how you guys lose a game. You keep it close versus good teams, but can just never get over the hump. Maybe next year you’ll be higher on the power rankings.
#13 Vanderbilt
Congrats on not being last in this week’s power rankings, but you’re still Vandy. You’re only there for the high GPA in the SEC. At least you’re in Nashville.
#14 Auburn
You’re last in this week’s power rankings and will be until you fire Brian Harsin.
There you have it. Your SEC Week 7 Power Rankings. Brought to you by the smartest man in college football, me, SpikedJohnnyB. I’m your baby mama’s favorite gambler, and your wifey’s favorite bookie. Watch Units Only Go Up, win free money. You’re welcome, you filthy animals.
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